this morning when i woke up, i saw mom sitting at the small dining table, drinking her usual cup of morning horlicks. all of a sudden i saw redness in her eyes and tears rained down her cheeks. my heart sank but i calmly sat down with her at the table. i asked her what is the matter. she shook her head, and said 'nothing'. after lotsa persuasion, she opened up and told me dad is not feeling very well. his fingers cracked and his body started to itch. it could be due to his liver problems. i explained to my mom in a very comforting manner that there is no point worrying. he has to do something about it. not just telling her the problems. he needs to go see the doctor and follow up. i told her many other things which seems very logical and i guess encouraging, that slowly led her to come back to herself.
i cannot say my dad is a good father. he has done a lot of hurtful things not only to my mom, but to many people around him. needless to say me, his only eldest daughter. but i cannot tagged my dad as a lousy father. he has nevertheless done many things for me, and even my hubby. but that cannot take away the very many wrong doings he has done which sting us to our hearts. till today.
most of the times, i am caught in a dilemma. at times, i wish to call to ask how are things with him. but always, it didn't happen because whenever my thoughts arrive at those stations with the scenes of how much he has abused our love, my heart felt like a knife just cut through. its bleeding could not stop, sadly. it still feels like it's freshly cut, up to now.
he is lucky because he has my mom. despite all the things he had done, my mom perpetually stood and is still standing beside him. she sides him regardless. she loves him regardless.
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